


A writer's purpose

by dustinmaknaejeon



Category: bts
Genre: Angst, Broken Family, Depression, Other, bts yoongi, yoonji female yoongi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20512952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustinmaknaejeon/pseuds/dustinmaknaejeon
Summary: Yoonji grows up with a single mother and her only escape is through writing. A series of events happen. She learns that stories don't always have a happy ending.





	1. Chapter 1

Growing up without a father is not something a child imagined. Yoonji sat down with her mother and baby sister at the table after going out fishing all day and gathering dinner. They lived in a small two-bedroom apartment. Her mom was always gone to work while she looked after her sister. Rarely able to go outside, Yoonji found solace in writing. She was so attentive in school during storytime. She'd listen carefully to every description and imagined herself sitting in a theater alone and watching a film. She let her imagination run wild as she filled notebooks of heroines and mystical creatures going on adventures and daring rescues. She started to draw as well to illustrate what she envisioned. Once, she drew a picture of her father. She imagined him as a superhero who would one day return and save her mom from poverty. As Yoonji grew up, she lived her life in solitude, and her voice became a whisper after seeing her mom get in abusive relationships. She couldn't forget the night when her mother was passed out in the living room with a suicide letter. She wanted her children to take care because she was tired of suffering. Yoonji tried to be her mother's council, but she was far too young to understand how hard it was to raise children alone and being abused by every man that came in their life. The picture Yoonji drew of her father rescuing them never happened and it wouldn't.   
It was the summertime in high school, and Yoonji's mother got a letter from her grandmother. The writing was barely legible as though it was by someone who barely had strength. For the first time, Yoonji met her father and grandmother. She couldn't be angry at him because it wasn't his responsibility to make sure they were okay. He made that choice to leave. Yoonji only wants to learn about her grandmother. She made the right choice because a few weeks later, she passed away. Her father got the insurance money she left behind and disappeared. For the first time, Yoonji wept. He had the opportunity to be in her life again, but he didn't take it. 

People aren't going to perform their role like you see in movies or read in books. They have their own free will and that's the painful truth about life. The only thing you can do is forgive them and live the life you want to see happen. They already made their choice and it's not your duty to wish bad karma. Even though they're your parents, you don't have to sit there and tolerate their negligence. That's giving them the okay to hurt you and break promises, and their only excuse is, "I'm your parent."  
As time passed and Yoonji grew up, her father tried to return, but he had ulterior motives. He didn't want to be there because he loved her. He only wanted to be around to receive the benefits of being called 'father.'

"Well, father. You're not welcome in my life anymore, just like you did to me my whole life."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After she was rejected by her father, Yoonji has another dilemma to handle. Her mother's mental health is taking its toll on their relationship. The choices they made will determine the future of their mother/daughter relationship.

After the incident with her mother's suicide attempt, she opened up a little more about her distress. Yoonji quietly sat down and listened, but it wasn't enough. As a remedy, her mother started working more often to mask the hurt. She moved them to a bigger home and began going out with friends to make everything appear normal. Yoonji was a typical teen who loved to play music, hang out with friends and play video games. She spent less time writing and studied more to keep her mother from reprimanding her about low grades. She quietly watched her mom transform into a different person. She got tattoos, piercings and dated men of various backgrounds. After Yoonji's father left once her grandmother died, she started looking into dating, stealing, drugs and running away. Yoonji couldn't put all the blame on her mother when everything was falling apart. She didn't want to live like a robot as though nothing happened. The thought of wanting to be out of control was powerful, but she didn't know that what she was doing could damage her life. The consequences arose when she got locked out the house overnight, ignored by her mother, and went to a military camp for delinquents. Yoonji decided she couldn't keep living out of control, but her mother gave up and had her move in with a family friend after she left camp. That choice would change their relationship as mother and daughter forever.   
Yoonji stayed with him, his girlfriend and son. She had no idea the man had a sexual attraction toward her until one night, he sneaked in bed and touched her. She woke up startled and in disbelief he would do this while his girlfriend and son were in the house. Yoongi cried and ran to her mother's house to tell her she didn't feel comfortable going back. Because Yoonji was already sexually active, her mother believed that she made it all up to get attention and find a way back into her home. She called him to pick Yoonji up from her house because she was no longer welcome. Yoonji thought to herself on the ride back, "He touched me. Why are you making me go back with someone who touched me without my permission? I thought he was a family friend, but he's a monster. Why mom?" Yoonji shut down automatically and stopped caring about herself after that night. Her mother wanted her to believe she was trash, so she embraced who she was. After she cut off her emotions, the man got what he wanted, and they started an affair. The girlfriend left and, for almost a year, Yoonji mindlessly let him do whatever he wanted to her, and she allowed other men to do the same. She was nothing to anyone because no one cared. One day, Yoonji got pregnant by one of her lovers and left his home. He was angry about not being able to control her, but she wanted to change her life for the baby she was carrying. She was finally tired of living a life that didn't take her anywhere. Her past came back to haunt her when her mother started dating the same man she tried to keep out of her life. Yoonji was angry. She told her mother the truth, but she stayed with him. Their mother/daughter relationship was slowly falling apart. There was no way Yoonji was going to pretend it didn't happen. The discomfort was Yoonji's fuel to stay on the right track. After having her baby, she majored in college, had a perfect job, home, and rarely dated. Her mother, who was tired of being alone and doing everything alone, settled with the luxury of being a housewife when they eventually got married. Although it cost her the relationship with her daughter, she covered it up with the new lifestyle she always wanted.  
The day came when they found out he was dying of cancer. Yoonji got a call at her job from her mother crying about the news. Yoonji didn't care about him and was disgusted by her mom for showing how much she loved him and wanted to stay with him regardless of what he did. Yoonji decided to leave town and their last talk ended with pure anger. They shouted at each other, and her mother told her that she was worthless. Yoonji left without saying a word. She had enough. After he died, she tried to reach out to her daughter, but Yoonji chose to stay away. Without warning, her mom became ill and died.  
Yoonji found out too late and didn't get a chance to reconcile or say goodbye. Their lives filled with silent cries of depression, rejection and cover-ups. They lack saying 'i love you' along with acceptance and trust. Yoonji didn't expect to live in regret because of her decision to hold a grudge. It took a long time to forgive her mother and father for bringing her into their world of silent pain, but Yoonji vowed to herself she would break the curse bestowed upon her. She picked up the pen and started writing just like she did as a child. That was always her escape, and now is the beginning process of her healing.


End file.
